The Three Myths Keeping You From Communication Mastery

I reflect a lot at year's end, and one of the things I do is look through quotes I've noted from prospects and clients.

This year there was a common thread: multiple variants of "My voice/nerves/communication style cannot be helped," often followed by "I feel trapped."

This breaks my heart because it's simply not true.

So I wanted to end the blog year with some kind truths (what my teen calls "gentle parenting"). I also follow the mantra that clear is kind—a phrase I first heard from Brené Brown—so I'm going to give it to you straight.

I totally get where this train of thought exists. We live in a culture that truly believes some people are gifted and others not. We have a societal blind spot about the human body and how we operate—the literal inner workings of being a human. And most of us are stretched so thin between work and home that the idea of doing anything else is harrowing.

Let's get granular with these thoughts for a minute.

The Myth of Talent

What makes someone exceptionally more proficient than someone else at anything? People assume it's a genetic (or deity-given) gift.

To be clear, there are genetic marvels among us in the human species. But they can't account for the sheer number of exceptional humans doing exceptional things. What do those people have that others do not?

They were given permission and grace to do the thing and keep doing the thing. Sometimes this permission comes from a trusted elder; other times it's born solely within that individual. Some seem to push themselves to excel by force and under duress, with mixed results even when it looks good from the outside.

But the ability to excel? That's within all of us. Sure, the best time to start was 10-20 years ago, but the second best time is today.

What the Woo, Gina!

When I first started teaching embodied voice, I encountered a lot of resistance from people saying "that's all too woo for me." The "woo" they were referring to was my insistence on body mapping, teaching people how to align their physical bodies with the work of voicing, and recognizing how their brain works. Literally, what it is to exist as a human neurophysically.

Why does that sound like "woo"? Because it's the unknown and it makes us feel things. Declaring that the neurophysical structure of the human form is "woo" and not "for you" is a direct result of our society's denial of the fullness of our humanity.

I want you to be embodied in order to communicate better, but it has other lovely side effects too.

I Don't Have Time

Everyone gets the same 168 hours a week, but not everyone gets to spend them the same way. For example, we sometimes say we have the same amount of time as Lin-Manuel Miranda (just me?). But he likely has staff and resources outside of our reach, allowing him more flexibility thano have.

That is to say: yes, time is a limited resource. It's finite. But also, we waste tons of it. Not because we're lazy or somehow flawed, but because we're too stressed to be disciplined about it. Other people pull on our time and sometimes we let them go too far.

The issue isn't really time. And it isn't willpower. The issue is the surety that spending this time now will improve my life in the near future. If we can't see the short-term gain, we're unlikely to make space for anything new. Again, this isn't a moral failing but a direct result of the first two issues we covered.

If you don't believe you can do something, and you don't have a concept of how it works, you're unlikely to make a time allocation.

So you don't exercise more, or cook healthier meals, or start working on your voice/communication/presentation skills, or whatever the "it" is.  And in order to break through this roadblock, you're going to need a map.

Blogs like this one, the vastness of knowledge on learning apps and places like YouTube are full of information. But if you want to streamline the learning process, you'll probably need a class and/or coach. Many excellent coaches offer a free consultation of some type where you can ask questions and build some clarity.

Take the time to understand the how of what you want to achieve. The trap you feel isn't permanent—it's just unfamiliarity with the map.

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