I was chatting with a friend this morning about a pair of speakers she heard…
I read a lot of well-intentioned fear bashing out there. It goes something like:
“Conquer your fear” “Don’t let your fear defeat you” and a recent favorite: “Fear wants to take away your faith”
FEAR IS NOT AN ENTITY!
Fear is a response designed to keep us safe. It engages without malice because no part of you actually hates you. Yes, even when there is variance and/or disorder in neurological systems, no (unconscious) part of you actually hates you.
I’m not saying that you should ignore it. Fear can be an inconvenient response and sometimes a truly debilitating one. My issue with the statements above is that they make it seem like you just need to be tougher, that the fear is somehow your fault.
Fear isn’t something to be dominated. Instead, it should be observed, questioned, engaged with, and directed (for more about this part, read this previous post). The fear response tells you that something is important. In speaking, it tells you that you matter and that this connection with others matters, at this moment. So sure, work to move through your fear, but please, stop seeing it as the enemy.
Gina Razón is the Founder and CEO at GROW Voice LLC, a full-service verbal communication studio in Boston’s Back Bay. She has over two decades of experience as a teacher of voice and speech, is a communication and change facilitator, and is a voraciously curious voice user. Gina has worked professionally as a classical singer for over a decade and more recently as a professional public speaker. For more information on the studio or to book Gina visit www.growvoice.com.